28th February 7.03am

Well, just turned 23 not too long ago.

Had probably the worse birthday experience and almost did some stuffs which I'm not very proud of, but eventually proud of myself.

Just a refresh, Fiona left me for a co-worker of hers, definitely not as good-looking as me, and that guy owned the worst tattoos I've ever seen in my life. Probably earning 2.6k a month, like her, and working 12hours a day in a hotel. A guy she thinks will bring her to fancy restaurants more frequently than I do, not because I'm broke most of the time but I just prefer simple market food due to my pretty harsh childhood.

But like I told Huichen when I met her for lunch last afternoon, well not really a birthday sort of lunch cos, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUNCH AND DINNER IS LAME WHEN YR GF JUST LEFT YOU, AND WORSE, WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE UPGRADED, SHE FREAKIN' DOWNGRADED.

Ok, enough ranting at the moment, but like what I told Huichen, I guess I'll never take Fiona back even if she happens to come crying back to me. Did some reflection, and I guess the reason why I was holding on to the relationship so dearly, was because Fiona's mum in HK is fantastic, and if I were to marry her 1 day, its because of her mother.I seriously thinks that I need help after this incident, but I know I'm gonna make it somehow, perhaps on my own.

Recent sleepless nights are not really killing me. Past 3 days were god-damn high for me, did some stupid things like sending a recording to a company which hires singers for events, they contacted me and asked me to go down for a live audition. Well, I somehow rejected this idea, but who know's what will happen later to me, I'm so unpredictable. I apologized to Jieying and Shihsuan, regarding how big a douche I was. Jieying had been very kind to me, and insist I had no fault, didn't really make me feel better but realized, I really had nice girls around me in the past.

I guess Shihsuan really took it to her heart, and I really hope she'll forgive me someday, which might seem so unlikely.

But well, I'm here writing again because, I'm gonna write down a few things I have in mind for this year. 2 months might have passed, but still, it should be enough time for me to complete certain goals that I have, and I believe the next time I'm coming back here, it'll be to look how I failed in life again, and what I had yet to accomplish.

Goals for 2014

Bangkok for sports investment, or perhaps to ensure if my Thai gf still loves me, otherwise, I can probably drop my act and break up with her.

Shall try to bring back steriods from Thailand, and make a small business out of it with fellow potential partners

Time to introduce a few people for Aaron's GBC, even though I really hate it a lot, but it might just be a solution to my constant problems.

Will force myself to go HK, and meet up her cousin for a meal or 2, and act like I'm on a business trip, but I sincerely hope it won't be an act and I'll be going there to do stuffs.


Really, screw all this shit that's happening. I will forget about it like the past few times, and things will get better. 

I have not yet shed a tear over this, I really hope I'll shed some real soon, cos I know it'll be the cure of all my heartaches. Otherwise, I'll find some other solutions.

24th Feb 2014 7:06am

Well well well, its been 2years since I came back here.
Was pretty desperate the past few days, or maybe weeks, months?
Got back my pink IC, returned my 11B.
Opened a company that hasn't brought me much yet.
2013 had been great or at least better than the first 2 months of 2014.
My girlfriend just broke up with me today. Her name's Fiona but that's not important now.
Got into bigger debts and I'm having bad habits every now and then.
Found a Thai girlfriend who is 5years? older than me. Good fuck, but too bad, kinda brainless.
So at a point of time, I was actually two-timing but who cares.
But somehow realised I love Fiona, I don't know why.
So yea, I'm pretty lost in my life now...
Supposed to go Bangkok this week but I doubt its happening.
Everything is going so wrong.
In fact, this blog made me realise, everything was so wrong to begin with.
But I dunno why I just wanna continue all this shit :) Hell yeah!

26th Feb 11.35pm

ohwell, 25minutes more to my 21st.

Totally not looking forward to it, probably i'll just look forward to not losing all my money, or probably to see who're the first few who wishes me a happy birthday


Well, at least 21st is a mini milestone, took a plane finally in my life, not once but twice ^^

But yea, life still goes on.

My only wish for this year, or rather all the birthday wish I didn't use for the past 20years, is that my new year resolutions for the next 2years would come true :)

Or at least grant me the motivation to work towards my resolution -.-


Things ain't looking so good now, gotta run!

1STJAN 10.13PM

ok, took a long break from here.

Been a year since i last blogged, and there're just so many things to fill up here.

So for now,

I'm still single, since dunno how long ago, sometimes i still miss her but, ohwell.

I was expelled from TP for failing MCT, rejected my own appeal but at least I'm not regretting my decision, YET.

I'm a soldier now! &&& i still gamble, and of cos make smart bets too.


Will update my new year resolutions soon, and its a pretty bad start to the year, who cares, my resolutions will come true this year for sure! since I didn't had one last year, lols


shazooommm

4:06am 13th Dec

13th Dec, is a special day. It's my dad's birthday.


today, 13thDec, i failed as a son, cause for the first time, someone had to talk to me personally to return the money, and i wasn't able to pluck out even 300 for my dad to solve his personal crisis.



last week, i failed myself as a lover, i made a wrong judgement, i thought i wasn;t gonna love my skinnife again, ended up, i did, but it was all too late as well


sometimes when i think about it, what for i need to earn so much money, now, i'm very likely getting a chronic disease straight at my gastric, i dunno how long will i live, but my health is really torturing me, regardless day or night.

things ain't going good for me in every aspect as well




with all these happening to me, should i cry, or just smile my way through?

1:08pm 29thNov

Things had changed. Wy changed for the extreme.


sigh, life sucks nowadays.

didn't know i had transformed so much, or was it due to the things surrounding me all the time.

how i wish this misery, which wasn't suppose to be my misery, would be gone.


Beer is my remedy, towards my sorrows.

4:11am 30thMay

oh, and its the end of the month again -.-


and at least i'm clearing most of my debts alr -.-

office days all the while and will probably end soon, lols


and i seriously dunno wads so interesting about my life now that i can blog about,

so its time to rest (:


adios \l/