2:54am 29thJan

just finished a 1hr phone discussion with a possible new-partner.


sometimes, things are too good to be real for me .

now, it looks as if the cruise just lifted the anchor out of the seabed

but will the cruise even start moving at a slow pace, i seriously wonder, lols .


gambling with time

1:05am 26thJan

life is a torture every now and then.


after the long weekend, i came to a conclusion of everything since the new chapter of my life had began.



everything is so different now, i just feel like shutting myself out of the world, but due to many considerations i can't do it.

in life there's many things to regret, and there's no excuses sometimes.

maybe i've yet to find one, but things have been miserable all the while .

from, my body to financial and from friends to family.

its a pretty hard time to get through, but since its not the first time for the finance and family department to screw up, so its ok.

somehow the part about my body is a torture.

when people question me 'why you always no money despite working?', its quite difficult to answer this simple question.

even though a simple answer will be, i know my body well, there's certain things i can do, and many that i cannot do from now on.

its not something that could be taken care of easily like a fix or some physio session.

one of my new year resolution would probably fail nw and that is to clear my debts by CNY,

sometimes, its not just about the effort shown, its the ability to show these effort.



let's just hope everything will be more successful in the coming chapter, and i'll sigh less than 20times a day when i think about my future.



done ranting

4:41am 19thJan

alright, consecutive 4nights, lols .


went for the 3rd therapy in the afternoon.

and its some pretty bad news to the family's wallet, lols .

the sinseh asked me to go for an x-ray, or i might even be required to do those stupid scans which cost around $800 , lols .


so, possible cause of backaches are:

slipped disc , or/and

nerve being pressed by 'dunno what bone'


and thus, causing the stupid numbness at the legs when i thought i was too fat .

human's body is so fascinating huh ?. lols .


ohwell, there goes my plans .



the torturing days.

5:30am 18thJan

my back is a fucking torture i swear, god damnit.


alright, going to school soon.

without any sleep for 3nights in a row (:



stranded

5:24am 17thJan

life is often a drag.

disappointments and hurdles come side by side.

this post could have turned out to be an essay, but somehow i don't wish to continue.

humans are all the same.

after 2sleepless nights,

i wonder what has been through my mind.



for now, i wanna speak to a stranger .

4:36am 15thJan

days getting boring .


maybe this is what they call aimless.

probably just received the key to success, but now i don't feel like looking for the keyhole, lols .

ohwell,



pain in the ass, really

12:48am 13thJan

ohwell,

days getting tough and me getting more frustrated each time each day.


sometimes, things are just hard to get over,

even if u need a person u talk to,

u dunno where and what to start with,

or to even start with, there's no time to explain .


a heave of sigh.

3:33am 9thJan

In a wink, 1/3 of Jan is gone.

CNY in 1month time .

but nt really looking forward to it , hahas .


the main concern now is money,

and also time to do some soul-searching .

everything is changing around me ,

sometimes i dunno what i should do.

there's alot of people giving me different suggestions all the time.

but i just dunno what to say all the time .


In conclusion so far,
B for bullshits.

lady luck, i need your shine ..

10:02am, 7th jan

i hope time could pause here a little longer..

i love you.


-skinnife

5:31am 2ndJan

alright, official first 2010 post in this blog, lols .

new year's resolution up.

and off i go .


make the wise choice.