April 19th, 2022

 How time flies, it's 2022.

So, just placing some time concept here.

- seems like Covid-19 is coming to an end. I hope.

- things are going back to normal, so, slightly irritating because of the people out there. 

- I still miss Wenxin a lot. Time doesn't heal everything, I guess it just makes it hurt less frequently.

- I have a daughter on the way. I hope she've met Wenxin already 😂 I really do.

- I'm currently renting a room in McNair. A master bedroom, a level2 unit. Probably one of the worst places I'll be staying in, and hopefully it's the worst because I don't want to sink lower.

- Didn't manage the get the house beside my mum, so, dream plan gone. But on a side note, I felt that it might not be a great idea to be living so close. Sometimes, we take one another for granted, but more importantly, I want my own space to be who I am, for me to be comfortable.

- So, bought a unit at level 6 instead. Cost a bomb. Gonna be spending at least 110k for the house, to furniture, renovations and whatever bs one needs to do for a house. How many people can really shell out $110k in cash? This guy!

- Realized that blood donation actually helps. I guess it mellows me down, especially when I'm pissed or feeling pressured.

- Loving my startup, Robinos. Hope I can get it running as long as I can.

- A little worried about my life later. Especially having a kid on the way. Can I carry on with Robinos and make it bigger? Will I have something new? Do I need to work for someone else. 

- I'm just glad, and happily married to Irah. I don't know how, but it just is. 

- If my daughter ever sees this, Ke Qin, I apologize that I'm not discussing too much about you here. It's really stressful being a new parent, and I want to give you the best possible life. Doubt you'll remember, but you're a super active kid in your mum's womb. Just few days ago, I tapped her tummy, and you responded. We had fun for a while, or more likely I might have disturbed you and you retaliating, lol. In any case, I'm looking forward to meeting you, and I wish that the 2 women I love will be safe and happy for the rest of your lives. 

- Anyway, since I'm here already. I'm really worried about stability. I need Robinos to keep going on so I can get a decent income, and I can spend time with Ke Qin and Irah. One day, my daughter might get sick of me, but I still want to be working at home, and hopefully teaching you many things in life

- Ever since Wenxin left, there is always a void there. No one can replace Wenxin, ever. But, it's a new day, and a new beginning for everything. I hope Ke Qin will bring joy to Ah Ma's life now, and for as long as she'll be around. Ah Ma had a difficult life, and I'm not exactly the best son. I hope Ke Qin can become the best thing for Ah Ma, for a long long time. 

- I might be selfish over here, hoping that my daughter can make my mum happy. But in general, I do hope to raise someone who will be happy throughout her life on Earth. It's an affinity as what Chinese says 缘分. So, if there's anything I can do, I hope you live like how you got named when Ah Ma proposed Ke Qin and another name that I've already forgotten. 

- 可晴

可 - hoping that you have the capability to do whatever you want to do in life. 

晴 - wishing you a happy life, like the sun brightening the day up for everyone around you. 

- It has been tough. Things have not been easy since I lost my sister. Pretty sure the tough times are going to stay, but it doesn't mean I cannot enjoy the good times ahead.

Decided to do point-form because I'm using my phone for this. Getting too lazy to just sit up and use the laptop which is just beside me right now.

In any case, I look forward to meeting you Ke Qin, and I can't wait for everyone else to meet you. I hope Wenxin and you had already met. Life is so weird, and if everything is pre-determined, I hope that I'll play a major part in your life, for you to become what you ought to be. You're a little miracle between myself and your beautiful mother that I'm very lucky to meet and be with. 

You'll also be seeing your relatives in Indonesia. You'll be seeing the vast differences in human mentality and behavior. These things will serve you well, if you want to learn more about human beings. 

You'll also be meeting my interesting friends. You'll learn that, you don't need many friends in life, but I hope you make a few good ones that really counts. 

Unfortunately, it's unlikely you'll be the rich daddy's little girl because I'm a lot poorer now compared to before in terms of wealth. But I hope I'll be able to find a way to impart whatever knowledge I've gained to you. And this knowledge will be serving you very well, and allowing you to achieve whatever you set your mind to do. 

More importantly, you'll have a very interesting Ah Ma who you'll love, and will love you with everything. You'll have fun with your uncle Wenbin I believe. I hope you will not pick up my vape and start vaping. You will also see your Ah gong. Not sure if you guys will be able to communicate, so that's a wild card over there, lol. You'll have a very loving mother. Be kind to her, please. I don't know what kind of father I'd be, but, please know that I only want the best for you. 

Till next time!