28th February 7.03am

Well, just turned 23 not too long ago.

Had probably the worse birthday experience and almost did some stuffs which I'm not very proud of, but eventually proud of myself.

Just a refresh, Fiona left me for a co-worker of hers, definitely not as good-looking as me, and that guy owned the worst tattoos I've ever seen in my life. Probably earning 2.6k a month, like her, and working 12hours a day in a hotel. A guy she thinks will bring her to fancy restaurants more frequently than I do, not because I'm broke most of the time but I just prefer simple market food due to my pretty harsh childhood.

But like I told Huichen when I met her for lunch last afternoon, well not really a birthday sort of lunch cos, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUNCH AND DINNER IS LAME WHEN YR GF JUST LEFT YOU, AND WORSE, WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE UPGRADED, SHE FREAKIN' DOWNGRADED.

Ok, enough ranting at the moment, but like what I told Huichen, I guess I'll never take Fiona back even if she happens to come crying back to me. Did some reflection, and I guess the reason why I was holding on to the relationship so dearly, was because Fiona's mum in HK is fantastic, and if I were to marry her 1 day, its because of her mother.I seriously thinks that I need help after this incident, but I know I'm gonna make it somehow, perhaps on my own.

Recent sleepless nights are not really killing me. Past 3 days were god-damn high for me, did some stupid things like sending a recording to a company which hires singers for events, they contacted me and asked me to go down for a live audition. Well, I somehow rejected this idea, but who know's what will happen later to me, I'm so unpredictable. I apologized to Jieying and Shihsuan, regarding how big a douche I was. Jieying had been very kind to me, and insist I had no fault, didn't really make me feel better but realized, I really had nice girls around me in the past.

I guess Shihsuan really took it to her heart, and I really hope she'll forgive me someday, which might seem so unlikely.

But well, I'm here writing again because, I'm gonna write down a few things I have in mind for this year. 2 months might have passed, but still, it should be enough time for me to complete certain goals that I have, and I believe the next time I'm coming back here, it'll be to look how I failed in life again, and what I had yet to accomplish.

Goals for 2014

Bangkok for sports investment, or perhaps to ensure if my Thai gf still loves me, otherwise, I can probably drop my act and break up with her.

Shall try to bring back steriods from Thailand, and make a small business out of it with fellow potential partners

Time to introduce a few people for Aaron's GBC, even though I really hate it a lot, but it might just be a solution to my constant problems.

Will force myself to go HK, and meet up her cousin for a meal or 2, and act like I'm on a business trip, but I sincerely hope it won't be an act and I'll be going there to do stuffs.


Really, screw all this shit that's happening. I will forget about it like the past few times, and things will get better. 

I have not yet shed a tear over this, I really hope I'll shed some real soon, cos I know it'll be the cure of all my heartaches. Otherwise, I'll find some other solutions.